Hope | Letters Of Hope

Reflections

Posted on October 6, 2019 by lohm_ope_1

I spent a big chunk of last week in one of my favourite cities in Europe – Basel, Switzerland. I love Basel not because of its architecture, cuisine, tourist attractions etc… but because it was a city I lived in many years ago. It was where I rediscovered myself as an adult and experienced immense growth professionally and personally.

Going back there 10years after I first stepped foot into this foreign land was surreal. I had limited time to explore the city again, as I was in meetings during the daytime and then prearranged team dinners in the evening. However, just being back in Basel gave me a lot to reflect on.

For starters, I have so much to be grateful for. I am now married to my ‘then’ boyfriend, with two amazing children. I am still working in the same industry that impacts the lives of many patients globally- doing now what patients need next.

In the course of the week, I spent time with delegates from my home country Nigeria, Kenya, Netherlands, Algeria, U.S.A, Germany and Hungary. Networking requires a lot of energy, by the end of each day I was mentally exhausted but at the same time, grateful for the opportunity to meet and exchange ideas, stories and aspirations with a diverse range of individuals.

There’s a saying about how each of us is going through one sort of battle. Spending quality time with different individuals during the course of the week brought this to light.

I recall chatting with one of our leaders who had experienced sibling loss at a young age. This loss had a huge impact on her mental health for a significant period of her life, as she recounted her journey and how she’s been able to overcome her challenges, I was reminded of the work I do with Letters of Hope, bringing hope to the bereaved in times of despair. I had the courage to ask her to consider helping young children going through similar experiences, I shared with her the power of story telling and how this resonates with young people- giving them that feeling of “I am not the only one going through this”. She admitted she had limited time due to various commitments but she will consider this.

This is my ask of you today as you read this article, consider finding a young person to encourage and mentor. Consider finding someone who is experiencing what you have gone through and overcome or still going through, and hold each other’s hands through this journey.

Loneliness is something I had to overcome whilst in Basel many years ago, now I am surrounded by numerous people who genuinely care about my wellbeing, I can also pass on that baton to someone else who is considering taking a job in a foreign land with great prospects but afraid of doing so… I encourage you to weigh the pros and cons and be bold in doing that which your heart is yearning for. There is so much more waiting for you on the other side of that bold step, do it afraid!

Have a great week!

Letters of Hope Journal

Posted on November 16, 2016 by lohm_ope_1

Hello there!

Hope your week is going well.

I’m thrilled to share with you another powerful resource from ‘Letters of Hope’.

The Letters of Hope journal has been designed to help you…yes you ‘Keep Hope Alive’, despite the challenge(s) you may be going through.

In my early years of grieving, I bottled up my emotions, I was angry, I was bitter, I was confused…I wished I had taken time out to write down my thoughts. However, as I got older, I discovered journaling and it has been a great help for a number of years now. It is a powerful tool for dealing with overwhelm and also for gaining clarity. I also use it as a form of communicating with God.

We all need a bit of encouragement every now and then and it’s my pleasure to share with you some of my favourite verses in this exclusive ‘Letters of Hope’ journal. Each page features either an uplifting note or an encouraging bible verse to meditate on. You may not be able to verbally express your feelings but you’d be amazed by how your thoughts start to flow when you pick up a pen and a journal, so why don’t you give it a try today.

The journal is available to order via the website. It is also ideal as a gift to friends and loved ones. If you’re looking for something simple and uplifting to give a loved one who is perhaps anxious about the festive season, due to a bereavement, this gift of faith, hope and love will surely be appreciated.

God’s blessings,

Ope xxx

Light in the darkness

Posted on July 1, 2016 by lohm_ope_1

In my book ‘Letters of Hope’, I mentioned in Chapter 9 how I used to dread night time following my mum’s death. This was when my problems or burdens seemed bigger than they really were. I’d lay down and start thinking all sorts of negative things. More often than not, when I eventually fell asleep, the result would be nightmares.

Darkness can mean different things to various people depending on their circumstances. It can signify any or all of the following:

Danger
Loneliness
Being lost or being in a state of confusion
Oppression
Fear of dying or of the unknown

Dance With My Father Again

Posted on May 10, 2016 by lohm_ope_1

I can go an entire week, maybe even weeks and not think of my Dad, as I was quite young when he passed away, and prior to that, he travelled a lot due to the nature of his work. So my memories of him are limited yet vivid and significant.

One of my favourite memories of my Dad was dancing with him at the celebration of life (funeral) party for my Grandad. My papa was the eldest of 9 children and had come home to give his Dad, my grandad, a befitting send-off.

I remember that after the party was over, a couple of my dad’s friends and his brothers stayed back. I don’t recall any of my siblings being around but I was with my Dad, listening in on his banter with his friends, watching as he played a local game (Ayo) with them whilst drinking. Then the village drummers came by to serenade him with some music. He got up and so did I, naturally, as I was sitting on his lap.

We began dancing together, moving to the rhythm of the beats…we were being cheered on by his friends and I danced with so much energy like I didn’t care that people were watching; I had absolutely no inhibitions. The louder they cheered, the more erratic my moves. It was the best feeling in the whole wide world. I don’t think I’ve danced like that since then. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was drunk and intoxicated with the local wine, but of course not, I hadn’t even had a drop of the wine, I was only 6 years old. I was drunk in love, in love with my Daddy. The one who named me ‘Eyimatofopeoluwa’ (this is enough to thank God for); he was so thankful to God for my safe arrival after a difficult birth, I was his last child – the child of his middle age.

My siblings jest that I wasn’t planned but I know God had it all planned out. Anyway back to this party, I was happy to have all of my Daddy’s attention on me. As I mentioned earlier, he often travelled, so I cherished every moment I could spend with him. So you can imagine my grief, the brokenness of my fragile heart, when I was called to the headmaster’s office barely weeks after I had been summoned to the same office to be told of my grandad’s death, except this time it was Daddy. I thought noooo, noo way. This has got to be a joke, but it wasn’t.

I haven’t danced like that since my grandad’s party. I’d love to dance with my Daddy again, to run into his arms and give him a big hug. To sit with him and tell him all I have achieved, the struggles I have overcome, the challenges I still face. How I’d love him to meet my nephews, nieces and my own son.

It has been 28 years, my grief hasn’t completely gone away, BUT my pain eases with time or so I think, until a major event happens in my life and then the tears stream down my face usually unexpectedly…because I long for my daddy, to be kissed on the forehead, patted on the back, maybe even scolded for my mischievousness.

I am sharing this part of my story, my pain, to let you know – I’m willing to be your friend and share my bereavement journey with you. I’m willing to walk with you as you face your own challenges. Yes, grief is unique to each individual but they say talking helps, so why don’t you drop me an email when you’re ready to talk – hello@lettersofhope.org.uk and if you’re not ready just yet, you can get a copy of my book ‘Letters of Hope’ from www.lettersofhope.org.uk
I share some practical tips on dealing with grief in my book. I hope you find it helpful.

“Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on”
– Bill Withers, Lean On Me

#BeEncouraged

Happy Anniversary Daddy – I miss you!