How I Deal with Anxiety

Every now and then, I feel anxious about certain things. I think most of us have these feelings.

Earlier this week, I got a message in my inbox from a young lady who had lost her mum at a very young age and had been dealing with the fear of losing other loved ones. I asked her a few questions to help me identify the trigger for this fear, so I can support her as best as I can

In this blogpost I want to share with you some tips to help you in managing anxiety related to grief.  This is not a step-by-step guide and is definitely not an exhaustive list, I do hope you find one or two tips to help you on your journey.

• Find out what the trigger is

In this young lady’s situation, the anniversary of her mum’s death was coming up. It’s natural to start to worry about the future when past memories of a loved one come flooding in. You don’t want to experience the pain and hurt all over again. So what I tend to do is fill my mind with fond memories, I try to do things that will help me stay positive and hopeful about the future. I spend quality time with people who have a positive outlook on life

• Another exercise worth doing is asking yourself a few questions
  • Why am I anxious?
  • Why do I think I’ll lose someone else?
  • What are the chances of someone else in my family or close to me dying of the same condition? Is there anything I can do to prevent this?
  • Why am I scared of being alone?
  • How can I prepare myself for the future?
  • What can I do to make the most of my own life whilst not forgetting the memory of my loved one?

Asking these questions help you understand your beliefs about death and mortality, and you can then begin to explore these beliefs. They can also help you understand the real cause of your fear which may be related to some experience that you need healing from? It may be helpful to reach out to a counselor or someone you trust and respect.

You can jot down your thoughts or responses to these questions in any notebook or journal. At Letters of Hope, we have a simple notebook that can be used for this purpose, it is available via this link.

• Find resources that can help you deal with this anxiety.

Recently, I read a book on Overcoming the fear of death by Amanda Bedzrah. It helped me put things in perspective and also reassured me that it’s actually ‘normal’ to have this fear following the loss of a loved one. She shared some practical tips in her book and I’d recommend you get a copy on kindle. For tweens and teenagers, my book Letters of Hope is also a great resource. It is available on Amazon Kindle and paperback is for sale on this site.

• Join a support group or maybe even start your own.

You’ll find the strength and courage you need simply by sharing your journey and listening to how others have coped with similar struggles. When I wrote back to the young lady who contacted me, I simply shared part of my grief experience with her, and she was thankful. In her own words ‘I had been a great help’. We are often strengthened by other people’s journey, we realize that we are not alone in our walk, others have had similar experiences and are findings ways of coping.

• You may have to seek professional help from a counselor if needed.

The key thing is not to suffer in silence. If you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts or feeling of anxiety. I strongly recommend you speak up and get help as soon as possible. For grief support, please search for bereavement charities in your local area or simply send me a direct message and I can help you find one.

 

In addition to these practical tips, talk to God about your fears and trust Him to help you deal with them, He always makes a way.

 

Until next time, continue to stay positive and hopeful!

Ope

{Photo by chris liu on Unsplash}