Are you wondering how to support a grieving friend. Perhaps you’re planning a visit and need suggestions of what you can give – to make a difference, to bring comfort or healing?
These are just suggestions based on my past experience and would appeal to different people based on their personality, background (culture, faith), age and perhaps the type of loss they have experienced.
Some of the gifts on this list have been given to young as well as old, male and female, people of different racial background, widows as well as grieving children, grieving siblings and relatives.
One of the services I provide at Letters of Hope is helping the wider community choose the ideal gift for their grieving friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Often times, I will ask my client a few questions about the intended recipient and nature of loss, to help me in putting a package together, and ofcourse the budget is also an important factor. One of the key factors to also bear in mind is the timing of your gift. Whilst you may mean well, your gift may not mean so much to the intended recipient if it’s delivered so soon after the loss.
As a faith based organisation, I believe in the Bible as the word of God, this is what has helped me in my own journey with grief, hence some of our products are based on Biblical encouragement. I have been fortunate to support people from all walks of life and our products and services are accessible to all.
- Time – This is absolutely priceless. Just being there for someone, holding their hands, being present to listen when they’re ready to talk is incredibly invaluable. Just showing up says a lot. It says “I care!”, “I am here for you”, “You are not alone even though it may feel like it”. Perhaps, you’re located in a different country or city and it’s challenging to be present physically, please make the most of technology and check in every now and then.
- Journals – There are all sorts of notebooks available these days, you are bound to find one that is ideal for your recipient. Even if they are not keen on journaling, at some point the notebook will come in handy, even for jotting down to-do lists. This has been one of our best selling products, not just the Letters of Hope brand, but I have been able to source notebooks for males as well as females, Christians and those from other faith.
- Memory box – I remember gifting this to a mum who had just experienced a stillbirth. Although she had received one from the hospital. She was grateful for a second box, to store her older daughter’s artwork from her counselling sessions. Another lady I was supporting, mentioned she has kept several boxes over the years since her mum’s death. She writes a letter to her mum often and stores them in the boxes. There are many uses of memory boxes.
At Letters of Hope, a memory box is included in some of our gift packages, they can also be bought individually. Currently, they are available in 2 colours – white and blue.
- Devotional or a Book of Hope – I often include a short devotional (this can also be a prayer book) in our packages. It’s often difficult to pray out loud in this difficult circumstances, but having something to read when the time is right can be helpful. I’ve received several positive feedback on the Psalm 23 booklet included in our packages. There are a number of books available to support those who have experienced different types of losses. I recently recommended one by Zoe Clarke-Coates – ‘Saying Goodbye – A personal story of baby loss and 90 days of support to walk you through grief’
- Pictures – Personally I love pictures, which is why I often include a photo frame in our gift packages. If you have a picture of the deceased person, this can be printed and included in a handwritten card. Better still, you can frame up the picture as a gift.
- Memorial book – When you’ve loved and lost, memories are priceless treasures. To support your grieving friend, you could order a bound book, similar to a wedding guest book and ask a few friends or relatives to write their memories/stories of the deceased person. Although this is a gesture that will be cherished for years to come, it takes time and effort to coordinate. You can simply send your own personal memory or story and encourage others to do the same, your grieving friend/relative can then compile this at a later stage. I particularly like this option because even young members of the family can participate in this activity.
The above list is non-exhaustive. There are other gifts which I haven’t mentioned above such as flowers, cards, fruit hampers, food for the family. These are quite common and your grieving friend may already have a house filled with these. Nonetheless, do what you feel is best and what you know they will genuinely appreciate.
