Abiodun’s Story of Hope

Posted on by lohm_ope_1

Hello there,

Hope you’re having an amazing week and if not, I pray things turn around for your good.

I got an email recently from DaySpring, asking me to ‘help others by sharing my experience’. What they meant was for me to write a review of my purchase, to help other potential customers with their decision making.

That email was a reminder of my promise to share stories of those who have experienced bereavement and how they are coping with their loss.  As I have mentioned in the past, you don’t ever get over your loss, at least that’s my personal experience after 20 years.  However, you find ways of coping with missing your loved ones.  One of such ways is by connecting with people on a similar journey, once you realize that you’re not alone, that the pain and grief you experience is not unique to your situation, it makes each day a little easier.

One of my desires for this platform is to share not just my own experience, but the experience of many others who have lost people very dear to them.  This month, another friend of mine, Abiodun Deinkoru, has kindly offered to encourage others through her own ‘Story of Hope’.

Happy Reading and #BeEncouraged!

 

♥ Please tell us about yourself, the person you lost, your relationship with them?

My name is Abiodun Deinkoru nee Olaboyin. I lost my dad about a month after I clocked 9 years. My father was a strict dad, a disciplinarian but very nice and deeply committed to his family both immediate and extended. As young as I was when he died, I could remember we were very close. He would help with my homework and made sure my needs were met .

 

♥ Describe how you felt in the early stages of grief and in subsequent weeks, months, perhaps years?

In the early stage, though I cried like others, I didn’t quite understand what was going on. However, I became very sad and withdrawn in my teen years. I guess the sadness was because we lacked a lot. Life was difficult at home. The resources were scarce and my mum was just a hustler. I believe that death altered my personality also. I that was once very expressive became quiet . I think it became worse because I had to go live outside my comfort zone with my aunt and later my big cousin.
♥ What was your greatest or most helpful resource in getting through the tough days and/or nights?
May be things would have gotten worse if I wasn’t introduced to Jesus .  Thank God for the comfort I experienced in him. My favourite verses then were in Psalm 68.
A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.
O God, when You went out before Your people, When You marched through the wilderness, Selah You, O God, sent a plentiful rain, Whereby You confirmed Your inheritance, When it was weary.
Ps 68:5‭-‬7‭, ‬9 NKJV.
That Scripture comforted and encouraged me through the years
 ♥ Do you still have tough days/nights now and how do you get through these?
Hardly in recent times. I believe God has been good to me despite what happened. I used to wish my life was all a dream especially in my teens and I would just wake up to that time before my dad died. I don’t wish for that anymore. I do not want to wake up to life when I was 9 years old.
♥ If you could leave an encouraging message for someone who has just recently lost a loved one, what would that be?
Trust in God. God makes a lot of difference. You may not understand why but trust God to bring beauty out of ashes. Time doesn’t heal wounds but positive actions in the right directions do. Good support system. Faith in God.

 

If you’d like to support and encourage others by sharing your own Story of Hope, please send an email to hello@lettersofhope.org.uk and we’ll follow-up within 48 hours.

Thank you

Get Your Praise On!

Posted on by lohm_ope_1

 

“What the Lord has done for me, I cannot tell it ALL”

Aside from saving and redeeming my soul, I am grateful for the countless blessings in my life, for His unmerited favour over my me, my immediate family and extended family.

God has been so good to me and I love to shout about it!

Having recently completed the #HallelujahChallenge – first I am thankful for the lady who drew my attention to this challenge, I was on a break from social media at the time but knew I couldn’t miss this for anything – for my God has been too good to me and I also know that when praises go up, blessings will surely rain ☔ down on us 🙏🙏

Thank you Father, for doors of opportunities that have started to open, for your supernatural provision, for your grace, for your joy that strengthens me, for anointing to fulfill Kingdom assignments.

I declare that I will do with ease what God has planned for me, including ‘Letters of Hope’ in Jesus name … 🙏 (Amen)

Whether you’ve been part of the #hallelujahchallenge or not, this week I encourage you to start with an attitude of gratitude – get your praise on.

Thank God for the blessings you see, Thank Him for prayers yet to be answered, Thank Him for He is Sovereign, Thank Him for ALL power belongs to Him in heaven and the earth.

Thank Him for the gift of life! Only the living can praise Him, infact in the past week, I know of two people who have completed their journey on earth. Whilst you’re still here, praise Him!

If you struggle to get the words out of your mouth, I encourage you to:

  • Simply listen to Praise and Worship songs, Listen to Hymns and meditate on the lyrics. He will fill you up with strength and courage 
  • Write your praise down in a journal/notebook. (If you’d like a copy of LOH journal, visit our estore @ www.lettersofhope.org.uk)
  • Recognize and celebrate the free gifts all around you that bring you joy. We take so much for granted, for example – the glorious sunrises and sunsets. Just last week, I had been planning to wash my car (just the outside), but I had struggled to find the time amidst other balls I was juggling, when I woke up to find out it had rained and my car was looking much cleaner – I said a small prayer of thanksgiving.  Jot down these little things you’re grateful for, one at a time on a piece of paper and store up in an empty jar. 
  • Still struggling….. say this out loud a few times …. “God is good, He has done me well, He will do me well. My soul – rise up and praise the Lord”

Do what you can to get your praise on this week!

#BeEncouraged

5 Practical Ways To Support A Grieving Child

Posted on by lohm_ope_1

As we approach Father’s Day, I thought to share some practical ways which can make a real difference in supporting bereaved children, specifically fatherless children in your circles.

Growing up in a culture that often avoids talking about grief and tends to disregard the need for a counselor.  These are some of the practical ways I found most helpful as a teenager and also with the children I have worked with:

 

  • Make time to listen and talk.  It’s important  to recognize that children also grieve.  Children and teenagers are often neglected when it comes to dealing with grief.  We assume they will be fine. That elephant in the room must be addressed.  Everyone has different coping mechanism but it is important not to shy away from the topic unless the child has specifically requested not to talk about it.  This is usually because they may be processing all the emotions  they’re experiencing internally and may not be ready to deal with them just yet.

 

  • Show that you care.  I love this quote “People who care, use words to express. People who care more, use their actions”. You can show you care by spending quality time with the bereaved child.  Depending on their personality, likes and dislikes, you can choose an activity they’re likely to enjoy.  Perhaps an activity they shared with their loved one before they passed away.  It could be a sport activity, watching a movie, visiting a museum or just sitting on a couch and chatting.

 

  • Write them an encouraging note. A short hand-written note to uplift them.  This could even be a poem, or a prayer.  It could be in the form of a letter to your younger self. I’ve always found hand-written notes very heart warming and a reminder that someone cares about my well-being.

 

  • Connect them with a mentor (or professional counsellor) – Someone who can help them open up to their fears and challenges.

 

  • Get them a copy of ‘Encouragement for the Bereaved Child’ book and the accompanying Letters of Hope Journal. (Click here)

 

This is a non-exhaustive list, and you will find the most effective approach by spending time with the child. What works well in one season may not be as helpful in another season, depending on what else is going in the child’s life and the intensity of their grief.

Question: Have you experienced bereavement yourself? Either as a child or a young adult…what support did you find most helpful, please feel free to leave a comment below.

Introducing Stories of Hope……

Posted on by lohm_ope_1

Hello there,

Happy New Week…Hope you’ve had a great start to this brand new week…

As promised, this year I hope to share stories of those who have also experienced bereavement, especially loss of a parent, to help with your own journey of grief.

If you would like to share your own story of Hope to support and encourage others, please feel free to contact me by emailing hello@lettersofhope.org.uk.

This month, our very first ‘Story of Hope’ is by a lovely friend of mine Ifeoluwa Iyaniwura.

Happy Reading and #BeEncouraged!

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Please tell us about yourself, the person you lost, your relationship with them?

My name is Ifeoluwa Iyaniwura. I am a child of the Most high, a mum to two beautiful children, a student nurse and a blogger.

I lost my dad 6 years ago; he was my hero and my friend besides him being my dad. He was an incredible man. He taught me kindness, how to be a woman of integrity and I learned quite a lot of life lessons from him. Growing up was fun, he would prepare dinner – very delicious meals. Even as an adult he would still iron my clothes and help with tidying up my room. Aww I love my dad he was the best.

 

Describe how you felt in the early stages of grief and in subsequent weeks, months, perhaps years?

Before he died, the doctors told us he wasn’t going to come out of his sickness, so I kind of really mourned and told the doctors he was going to live. When he eventually died, I felt numb and empty for the first week. However, I had to pull myself together as I needed to be strong for my mum who was very much devastated.

The day he was buried it finally dawned on me that he was truly gone, I thought he was going to walk through the door and somebody would tell me he’s back. But he was buried, dead, gone. I wept like a child. Later that evening, I went back to his headstone and knelt down, I cried for an hour, felt some sort of relief and left.

I relocated to the UK few weeks after my dad was buried to start a new life with my husband who was very supportive and helped me to grieve, as I would cry months afterwards because I really did miss him. When I had my daughter a year later, they both share the same birth month, I wanted my Dad to call, so I could hear the giggle in his voice but that call never came.  These were the things we had talked about and he wasn’t here to see these things unfold.

 

What was your greatest or most helpful resource in getting through the tough days and/or nights?

The bible saw me through, I would go back to the word and read journals about how to deal with grief. I would lie on my face and worship, sing songs of worship.

 

Do you still have tough days/nights now and how do you get through these?

Yes, I still have tough days especially on his birthdays, the day he died and the month he was buried. He was born in September, he died in October, and was buried in November. The months follow each other and it just reminds of what happened, how the events unfolded.

I still find it difficult however, I just decide to remember the good times and hold on to those memories which do make smile. I also take solace in the fact that he died a Christian and I will surely see him again.

 

If you could leave an encouraging message for someone that has just recently lost a loved one, what would that be?

It’s hard losing a loved one, it hurts, but it gets better. Time is a beautiful healer, hold on to the beautiful memories, it helps on bad days as these memories will make you smile rather than cry. Yes, bad days will come but you can pen down your feelings, hold a journal, write down how much you miss them. Cry if you need to, it helps.

Don’t ever forget the fellowship of the Holy spirit, he is your biggest comforter.

 

 

 

 

Happy New Year!!!

Posted on by lohm_ope_1

lohHello Friends,

I hope you had a peaceful Christmas break.

I am very pleased to share with you the newly revamped website for ‘Letters of Hope’.

All resources available for sale (book, journals and gift packs) can be purchased directly from the website.

I intend to blog more often in this new year!  My blog posts will be shared on this platform.  If there are any specific topics you’d like me to blog on, please feel free to send an email to hello@lettersofhope.org.uk

I will also be featuring ‘Stories of Hope’ – those who have experienced bereavement and are keen to support others on the same journey.  If you are interested in being part of this project, please feel free to contact me via the website or email: hello@lettersofhope.org.uk

Lastly, if you know of any organization that would be benefit from Letters of Hope resources, please do get in touch.

Thank you for your support.

God’s blessings,

Ope

 

 

Letters of Hope Journal

Posted on by lohm_ope_1

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Hello there!

Hope your week is going well.

I’m thrilled to share with you another powerful resource from ‘Letters of Hope’.

The Letters of Hope journal has been designed to help you…yes you  ‘Keep Hope Alive’, despite the challenge(s) you may be going through.

In my early years of grieving, I bottled up my emotions, I was angry, I was bitter, I was confused…I wished I had taken time out to write down my thoughts.  However, as I got older, I discovered journaling and it has been a great help for a number of years now.  It is a powerful tool  for dealing with overwhelm and also for gaining clarity.  I also use it as a form of communicating with God.

We all need a bit of encouragement every now and then and it’s my pleasure to share with you some of my favourite verses in this exclusive ‘Letters of Hope’ journal.  Each page features either an uplifting note or an encouraging bible verse to meditate on.  You may not be able to verbally express your feelings but you’d be amazed by how your thoughts start to flow when you pick up a pen and a journal, so why don’t you give it a try today.

The journal is available to order via the website. It is also ideal as a gift to friends and loved ones.  If you’re looking for something simple and uplifting to give a loved one who is perhaps anxious about the festive season, due to a bereavement, this gift of  faith, hope and love will surely be appreciated.

God’s blessings,

Ope xxx

 

Introducing LoH logo

Posted on by lohm_ope_1

Happy Weekend All,

I trust you have had a great week and if your week hasn’t gone so well, I encourage you to praise God all the same and trust that He will turn things around for your good…Stay hopeful!

Today, I wanted to share with you the newly designed logo for ‘Letters of Hope’ – the organization.  It has been an interesting journey and I am super excited to share this with you ????loh

I am just so in awe of this Mighty God. I remember exactly where I was when I prayed about the logo for Letters of Hope. One of my mentors, or should I say midwives had asked me to pray about it and I thought okay why not.

I prayed about it as I was driving to work one morning, my commute can be anything from 40 minutes to an hour, I don’t recall how long it took me on this particular day but I remember exactly what junction I was at when a specific image came to mind. I was super excited, it made so much sense and I couldn’t wait till I parked up, so I could type it up in my notes just in case I forgot (as if lol). I parked up – made some notes and immediately searched for images to capture my thoughts, none really matched up to what I had visualized although there were some similar ideas.

I knew from the onset whom I would commission to design my logo, so I got in touch and gave her a brief. This logo here is the first and only draft image she sent to me, I was simply blown away. I fell in love straight away. I am still in love.

The choice of colours is a narrative for another day. The Holy Spirit led me to loh2these colours and yes yes yes I absolutely love them.

There is nothing too insignificant for God to handle, nothing is too small for Him. He is interested in every detail of our lives, especially that which He has called us to do.

Somebody please help me Praise this God.

Watch out for exciting products and projects coming soon!! 

Have a blessed weekend xx

Pray Until Something Happens (P.U.S.H)

Posted on by lohm_ope_1

Sometimes we may experience unexpected challenges in life. Things could be going well for us and our loved ones and then suddenly we experience a crisis with no prior warning. Suddenly we are stopped in our tracks and we can’t seem to move forward in life.

Setbacks, Challenges, Knock-backs are all part of life experiences. There are lessons of life that can only be appreciated through personal experience. Someone else’s narrative doesn’t do us as much justice.  As individuals we are forced to grow and mature from these challenges, they become part of our story in the journey of life.

So what do we do when we experience these setbacks? 

  • We simply P.U.S.H – We Pray Until Something Happens.  Just like the image in this post, these guys did not sit down and fold their arms when their car broke down, instead of sitting and worrying about their predicament, they got up and started pushing. We should also do likewise – Pray instead of worrying. Pray instead of having a pity-party.  We ought to pray not just for the sake of it, as a religious act but because we want to see the hand of God move in our lives.  Those pushing the car are not doing so for the fun of it, or to show off their physical strength but they are desperate for the car to get moving and get them to their destination. They are not pushing with one finger but with as much strength to get the car moving.  Even the old man with the walking stick to the far left is using his limited strength to push forward.

Our prayers should mirror this – a desperate cry out to God, to move us from where we are to where we need to get to. These guys pushing the car, not only want to get the car moving but they desire to hear the engine roar. When we pray, our desire should be to hear from God, to hear Him confirm His promise or to hear Him guide and direct us.

  • We enlist the help of others.  We should ask for help and get our loved ones (friends, relatives, church members) to pray along with us, especially when we are feeling weak and vulnerable.  Just like those pushing the car in the image, the more people we have pushing, the greater our chances of success.

Sometimes, others may have an encouraging word for us, God may choose to speak to us through others.  In asking others to pray along with us, they might have experienced a similar challenge and can offer advice to help us get through the storm.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says – “Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be much better.  If one falls, the other pulls him up, but if a man falls when he is alone, he’s in trouble. Also, on a cold night, two under the same blanket get warmth from each other, but how can one be warm alone? And one standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer; three is even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. We should not underestimate the tremendous power of a multitude of people praying over the same issue especially when we are feeling weak and vulnerable.

  • We must get rid of unnecessary baggage.  Just like the image shown in this blog post, sometimes to move forward, we need to lay aside certain things (such as bad habits, bad attitude, mindset, fear) or people in our lives that are weighing us down. They might have been useful in the past but it may be time to move on without them.  Hebrews 12:1  says – “Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us”. We should ask God for wisdom to know the things we need to get rid of in our lives, things which are holding us back.
  • We must be persistent in Pushing! – We shouldn’t just PUSH once and give up hope.  We have to be persistent in our asking, in our praising, in our thanksgiving.  For lack of a better word, we keep nagging God until we hear clearly from Him – Yay! Nay! or not right now!  Sometimes God doesn’t always answer when we want or how we want him to, He may not take away our pain & our burdens, but He gives us the grace to cope and to move forward.

“The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man  can accomplish much ..it is dynamic and can have tremendous power” – James 5:16

  • We may need to refuel and recharge – We may have reached a point in our journey where we’ve run out of ‘fuel’. We simply need to refuel by spending time with God and feeding on His word.   We can choose to either read or listen to the word. As we spend more time with God, we’ll build up our faith, which will help us get through the hurdles of life.

My prayer is that we will not give up Hope.  We will continue to trust in God knowing our prayers do make a difference.  God will answer our prayers at the time and in the way that will bring Him the greatest glory.

#BeEncouraged

Chosen for such a time as this!

Posted on by lohm_ope_1

Happy Monday,

It has been awhile since I’ve blogged, let’s just say I was on a summer break 🙂

Special thanks to all those who reached out to check on me. May you also be surrounded by those who genuinely love and care about you (Amen).

So this past weekend was eventful for me. Saturday, 24th September was my dearest mum’s birthday. I usually don’t do anything special on this day except of course to remember her.

I knew this year would be extra special when a dear friend and mentor, Detola Amure of Super Working Mum announced that the Empowering Mothers Conference would be on the same date. The theme for the conference was ‘Chosen for such a time as this’.  I was super excited and expectant about this event, not just as a member of the planning committee but also as a delegate. I was expectant to receive from the Most High. 

The conference was a great success, all glory to God Almighty!!! I am still buzzing from this amazing experience and wanted to share my top 4 lessons with you:

  1. Don’t shy away from your calling.

If you’re willing to be used by God, He will open doors for you and create the right opportunities for you. I was one of the exhibitors on the day and my plan was to only exhibit some of the products from my gift sourcing business (AHFOG Creations).  I was concerned about displaying my book ‘Letters of Hope’ as I thought it wouldn’t be the appropriate place to share the message and perhaps people might be put off with the idea of mixing bereavement support material with other items on display. Anyway I kept getting a nudge to take copies of my book with me. I was reluctant to do so but finally decided to take them along, however I had planned to hide them under the table until all other products were sold and then I would bring them out.  Somehow, when I got to the venue, I felt at peace and I went ahead to display my books along with my other products.

To my surprise, Letters of Hope was actually the best selling product on the day. A lot of people were interested. In fact, there was a lady who said she had been looking for the ideal gift for a friend who had recently lost a loved one and she felt this was it. 

I am simply amazed by what God can do through each and every single one of us, when we yield to His leading. I am glad I eventually got over my ‘shyness’ with showcasing Letters of Hope and I could be a blessing to a number of people.

God reminded me on the day that He has blessed me with different gifts and talents but He also has a special calling for me, there is a specific ‘nation’ He has called me to serve. My gifts and talents will help me in fulfilling my purpose BUT they are separate from my calling. I must not shy away from the mission He has assigned to me. I must use all He has placed inside of me for His glory.

“You are the light of the world. A city situated on a hill cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” ‭‭ Matthew‬ ‭5:14-16‬ ‭HCSB‬‬

2. Surround yourself with the right company; friends and mentors that will support you in your journey.

There will be seasons in your life when you will run out of steam, because life gets busy, these people will push you along, they will champion your cause, encouraging you all the way. They will look out for you and cheer you on. Your calling is not about you, it is bigger than you, so God will equip you, BUT he will also send destiny helpers your way, look out for them. Be obedient and have a humble spirit. I hadn’t actually planned to exhibit but my dear friend hosting the conference encouraged me to do so, and I am so glad I listened. I also had another friend exhibiting on the day, it was great to have someone on the same journey and we could support each other in preparing for our ‘maiden’ exhibit. 

“Some relationships have to go, some relationships you have to find – destiny helpers” – Laura Jeyibo

3. Serving others is your training ground!

In volunteering to help others to fulfill their own purpose, you are bound to learn lessons for your own journey. You will surely grow in your own walk and God will elevate you at His appointed time. Enough said about this 🙂

4. Your story is not unique

Your pain and journey is not totally unique, there are others who have experienced the same challenges and difficulties in life. There is a specific ‘nation’ that God has called you to serve, to reach out to and support. Your story will make sense to them, God will connect you with them when the time comes.    

“Your pain is not going to be a waste. God can use your pain for His glory if you allow him. Your past is part of your purpose, don’t discount your past , it is part of what makes you special” – Detola Amure

I’ll leave you with my favourite quote from the event:

“When you find what you’re meant to do, you’ll sense God’s pleasure” – Fiona Jones.

I definitely sensed God’s presence AND pleasure on Saturday :-). My prayer is that you will sense God’s pleasure in your own circle of influence too, no matter the size, or environment – perhaps it’s in your home. 

Have a fantastic week,

#BeEncouraged 

P.U.S.H

Posted on by lohm_ope_1

Pray Until Something Happens (P.U.S.H)

Sometimes we may experience unexpected challenges in life. Things could be going well for us and our loved ones and then suddenly we experience a crisis with no prior warning. Suddenly we are stopped in our tracks and we can’t seem to move forward in life.

Setbacks, Challenges, Knock-backs are all part of life experiences. There are lessons of life that can only be appreciated through personal experience. Someone else’s narrative doesn’t do us as much justice.  As individuals we are forced to grow and mature from these challenges, they become part of our story in the journey of life.

So what do we do when we experience these setbacks?  Read more