Every now and then I share someone else’s bereavement journey on this platform, to encourage others who may have only just loved a lost one, or perhaps it’s not a recent bereavement but you need support.
The emotions of grief often come in cycles and may never go away entirely, however one can find the strength to face each new day with its challenges.
Reading about other people’s experience of loss often remind us that we are not alone and there is indeed hope for tomorrow.
This month, another brave friend of mine openly shares her experience of grief. We met at a wedding almost 4 yrs ago and immediately connected as we were both pregnant at the time. She had travelled from the States for this wedding in England, UK and we stayed in touch afterwards. We have since become prayer and bible study partners, our friendship has indeed blossomed.
I pray her journey encourages you and builds your faith in God.
1. Please tell us about yourself, the person you lost, your relationship with them?
My name is Abby and I am married with 3 children.
I lost my Mom when I was 3 years old and had to relocate from the U.S to Nigeria to live with my paternal grandmother from the age 4 to 10. I don’t think I had a close relationship with my mom because she spent a considerable time in hospital and I was still a child when she died.
2. Describe how you felt in the early stages of grief and in subsequent weeks, months, perhaps years?
The first 2 years of living with my grandmother and other relatives was okay, until life got really tough. As a child, I did not enjoy my childhood and I felt if my mum was alive, I would not have to go through any of the circumstances I experienced. I cried a lot and asked God why. The tough and unbearable situations in my life pushed me to seek God and I am glad I found him. God has taken me to places beyond my expectation and I give him all the glory.
3. What was your greatest or most helpful resource in getting through the tough days and/or nights?
I gave my life to Christ when I was 15 years old and that changed everything. I had more issues then, but with God on my side, I overcame. It was a lonely journey as I am the only child from my Mom and Dad and I went from living with my grandmother to living with uncle and aunties. Prayer, especially praying in the spirit, reading the word like my life depends on it and few family and friends helped me through the tough situation. Most of the people I spoke to then did not understand my problem (it was complex) and therefore could not help.
I would pray in the spirit when I did not understand and instead of asking God why. The word of God became my guidance and the Holy Spirit is always there to comfort me. God gave me a lot of promises in his word which I hold on to.
4. Do you still have tough days/nights now and how do you get through these?
My life now is better than the past. Whatever I go through now is absolutely nothing compared to when I was younger. I have learned a lot, God has changed me from a bitter person to a forgiving and loving woman. I have learned to take all my problems to God. I have learn to forgive and know that all things will work together for my good. I know God is still working on me and I look forward to the finished product.
5. If you could leave an encouraging message for someone that has just recently lost a loved one, what would that be?
I want you to know that God LOVES YOU, I mean HE truly loves you and he has a plan for you no matter what you are going through. Don’t allow circumstances to make you doubt HIS love for you. I want you to know that you are not a mistake and if you are patient enough, you will experience HIS great plan for you and HIS GLORY. Jeremiah 29:11
Ask God to heal your mind of every hurts and restore all that you have lost to you. Ask for the grace to forgive and move on. Your future is better than what you can imagine, just relax and walk with God on HIS PLAN for your life.
God truly loves us ALL.
Sharing our stories can be a means of healing, it can unite us with others and help us cope with our grief. If you’d like to share your own story of loss and hope, please do get in touch by emailing hello@lettersofhope.org.uk
Be Encouraged x
