Most of my blog posts are written to encourage those grieving from the loss of a dear one. However, I wanted to reach out to those who might be acquainted with the bereaved. You may be a friend, work colleague, member of the same church etc.
The truth is, most of us know someone who is going through a tough time right now, following the death of a loved one. If not, you will at some point in life. It’s simply the nature of life. There’s a time to be born and a time to die (Ecclesiastes 3:2). We grieve the death of our loved ones because we love them and our hearts are broken from our loss.
How do we comfort those who are grieving?
Most people stay away from the bereaved because they worry about not knowing exactly what to say.
As someone who has gone through bereavement myself, I can honestly say – in the early days, weeks, possibly months of dealing with the shock of losing a loved one, very few words are needed. In fact, most times, no words are needed.
- Your presence is simply enough. Your presence shows that you care. To put it bluntly, you can show up and zip up. Show up and simply listen
- Reach out to the family members too if you can. The next best thing when you do show up, is to show empathy, not just to the individual that you’re acquainted with, because grief will most likely affect the entire family. When you show up, acknowledge their loss too. A warm hug (if permitted) will comfort them more than your words, it shows you care.
- Take the initiative & offer to help. Proverbs 3:27 says – ‘When it is in your power, don’t withhold good from the one to whom it is due’. When you ask “how can I help”? They simply don’t know, they are still coming to terms with what has happened! Simply offer to help with grocery shopping, cleaning, babysitting, cooking, whatever needs to be taken care of. I also strongly recommend you don’t show up empty handed. Even if your grocery is not needed immediately, at some point, when they can’t make it to the shops, they will appreciate your kind gesture. In my own culture, you’d be surprised how many guests show up and expect to be fed, so whatever groceries you take, will indeed be useful.
- Stay in touch…don’t stay away! Yes, life moves on, but the bereaved will need you in months and years to come, especially after they have come to terms with their loss and need a listening ear to pour their hearts too. Reach out whenever you can, especially on special memorial days. Please be considerate and allow them to lead the conversations.
God bless you as you support others through their grief. I pray that the Lord Almighty will reward you greatly (Amen)
I leave you with this lovely song by Diana Ross that captures my thoughts on this issue.
#BeEncouraged
Sounds so simple, but it’s pretty difficult. I guess it takes a deliberate effort to be there and to offer help and support. Most especially, to be there consistently…
Hmm I agree, it can be difficult but definitely takes being intentional and deliberate with our active support of others. Thanks for stopping by, appreciate you.