Happy New Week…Hope you’ve had a great start to this brand new week…
As promised, this year I hope to share stories of those who have also experienced bereavement, especially loss of a parent, to help with your own journey of grief.
If you would like to share your own story of Hope to support and encourage others, please feel free to contact me by emailing email@example.com.
This month, our very first ‘Story of Hope’ is by a lovely friend of mine Ifeoluwa Iyaniwura.
Happy Reading and #BeEncouraged!
Please tell us about yourself, the person you lost, your relationship with them?
My name is Ifeoluwa Iyaniwura. I am a child of the Most high, a mum to two beautiful children, a student nurse and a blogger.
I lost my dad 6 years ago; he was my hero and my friend besides him being my dad. He was an incredible man. He taught me kindness, how to be a woman of integrity and I learned quite a lot of life lessons from him. Growing up was fun, he would prepare dinner – very delicious meals. Even as an adult he would still iron my clothes and help with tidying up my room. Aww I love my dad he was the best.
Describe how you felt in the early stages of grief and in subsequent weeks, months, perhaps years?
Before he died, the doctors told us he wasn’t going to come out of his sickness, so I kind of really mourned and told the doctors he was going to live. When he eventually died, I felt numb and empty for the first week. However, I had to pull myself together as I needed to be strong for my mum who was very much devastated.
The day he was buried it finally dawned on me that he was truly gone, I thought he was going to walk through the door and somebody would tell me he’s back. But he was buried, dead, gone. I wept like a child. Later that evening, I went back to his headstone and knelt down, I cried for an hour, felt some sort of relief and left.
I relocated to the UK few weeks after my dad was buried to start a new life with my husband who was very supportive and helped me to grieve, as I would cry months afterwards because I really did miss him. When I had my daughter a year later, they both share the same birth month, I wanted my Dad to call, so I could hear the giggle in his voice but that call never came. These were the things we had talked about and he wasn’t here to see these things unfold.
What was your greatest or most helpful resource in getting through the tough days and/or nights?
The bible saw me through, I would go back to the word and read journals about how to deal with grief. I would lie on my face and worship, sing songs of worship.
Do you still have tough days/nights now and how do you get through these?
Yes, I still have tough days especially on his birthdays, the day he died and the month he was buried. He was born in September, he died in October, and was buried in November. The months follow each other and it just reminds of what happened, how the events unfolded.
I still find it difficult however, I just decide to remember the good times and hold on to those memories which do make smile. I also take solace in the fact that he died a Christian and I will surely see him again.
If you could leave an encouraging message for someone that has just recently lost a loved one, what would that be?
It’s hard losing a loved one, it hurts, but it gets better. Time is a beautiful healer, hold on to the beautiful memories, it helps on bad days as these memories will make you smile rather than cry. Yes, bad days will come but you can pen down your feelings, hold a journal, write down how much you miss them. Cry if you need to, it helps.
Don’t ever forget the fellowship of the Holy spirit, he is your biggest comforter.