Abiodun’s Story of Hope

Hello there,

Hope you’re having an amazing week and if not, I pray things turn around for your good.

I got an email recently from DaySpring, asking me to ‘help others by sharing my experience’. What they meant was for me to write a review of my purchase, to help other potential customers with their decision making.

That email was a reminder of my promise to share stories of those who have experienced bereavement and how they are coping with their loss.  As I have mentioned in the past, you don’t ever get over your loss, at least that’s my personal experience after 20 years.  However, you find ways of coping with missing your loved ones.  One of such ways is by connecting with people on a similar journey, once you realize that you’re not alone, that the pain and grief you experience is not unique to your situation, it makes each day a little easier.

One of my desires for this platform is to share not just my own experience, but the experience of many others who have lost people very dear to them.  This month, another friend of mine, Abiodun Deinkoru, has kindly offered to encourage others through her own ‘Story of Hope’.

Happy Reading and #BeEncouraged!

 

 

 

♥ Please tell us about yourself, the person you lost, your relationship with them?

My name is Abiodun Deinkoru nee Olaboyin. I lost my dad about a month after I clocked 9 years. My father was a strict dad, a disciplinarian but very nice and deeply committed to his family both immediate and extended. As young as I was when he died, I could remember we were very close. He would help with my homework and made sure my needs were met .

 

♥ Describe how you felt in the early stages of grief and in subsequent weeks, months, perhaps years?

In the early stage, though I cried like others, I didn’t quite understand what was going on. However, I became very sad and withdrawn in my teen years. I guess the sadness was because we lacked a lot. Life was difficult at home. The resources were scarce and my mum was just a hustler. I believe that death altered my personality also. I that was once very expressive became quiet . I think it became worse because I had to go live outside my comfort zone with my aunt and later my big cousin.
♥ What was your greatest or most helpful resource in getting through the tough days and/or nights?
May be things would have gotten worse if I wasn’t introduced to Jesus .  Thank God for the comfort I experienced in him. My favourite verses then were in Psalm 68.
A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.
O God, when You went out before Your people, When You marched through the wilderness, Selah You, O God, sent a plentiful rain, Whereby You confirmed Your inheritance, When it was weary.
Ps 68:5‭-‬7‭, ‬9 NKJV.
That Scripture comforted and encouraged me through the years
 ♥ Do you still have tough days/nights now and how do you get through these?
Hardly in recent times. I believe God has been good to me despite what happened. I used to wish my life was all a dream especially in my teens and I would just wake up to that time before my dad died. I don’t wish for that anymore. I do not want to wake up to life when I was 9 years old.
♥ If you could leave an encouraging message for someone who has just recently lost a loved one, what would that be?
Trust in God. God makes a lot of difference. You may not understand why but trust God to bring beauty out of ashes. Time doesn’t heal wounds but positive actions in the right directions do. Good support system. Faith in God.

 

If you’d like to support and encourage others by sharing your own Story of Hope, please send an email to hello@lettersofhope.org.uk and we’ll follow-up within 48 hours.

Thank you

Introducing Stories of Hope……

Hello there,

Happy New Week…Hope you’ve had a great start to this brand new week…

As promised, this year I hope to share stories of those who have also experienced bereavement, especially loss of a parent, to help with your own journey of grief.

If you would like to share your own story of Hope to support and encourage others, please feel free to contact me by emailing hello@lettersofhope.org.uk.

This month, our very first ‘Story of Hope’ is by a lovely friend of mine Ifeoluwa Iyaniwura.

Happy Reading and #BeEncouraged!

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Please tell us about yourself, the person you lost, your relationship with them?

My name is Ifeoluwa Iyaniwura. I am a child of the Most high, a mum to two beautiful children, a student nurse and a blogger.

I lost my dad 6 years ago; he was my hero and my friend besides him being my dad. He was an incredible man. He taught me kindness, how to be a woman of integrity and I learned quite a lot of life lessons from him. Growing up was fun, he would prepare dinner – very delicious meals. Even as an adult he would still iron my clothes and help with tidying up my room. Aww I love my dad he was the best.

 

Describe how you felt in the early stages of grief and in subsequent weeks, months, perhaps years?

Before he died, the doctors told us he wasn’t going to come out of his sickness, so I kind of really mourned and told the doctors he was going to live. When he eventually died, I felt numb and empty for the first week. However, I had to pull myself together as I needed to be strong for my mum who was very much devastated.

The day he was buried it finally dawned on me that he was truly gone, I thought he was going to walk through the door and somebody would tell me he’s back. But he was buried, dead, gone. I wept like a child. Later that evening, I went back to his headstone and knelt down, I cried for an hour, felt some sort of relief and left.

I relocated to the UK few weeks after my dad was buried to start a new life with my husband who was very supportive and helped me to grieve, as I would cry months afterwards because I really did miss him. When I had my daughter a year later, they both share the same birth month, I wanted my Dad to call, so I could hear the giggle in his voice but that call never came.  These were the things we had talked about and he wasn’t here to see these things unfold.

 

What was your greatest or most helpful resource in getting through the tough days and/or nights?

The bible saw me through, I would go back to the word and read journals about how to deal with grief. I would lie on my face and worship, sing songs of worship.

 

Do you still have tough days/nights now and how do you get through these?

Yes, I still have tough days especially on his birthdays, the day he died and the month he was buried. He was born in September, he died in October, and was buried in November. The months follow each other and it just reminds of what happened, how the events unfolded.

I still find it difficult however, I just decide to remember the good times and hold on to those memories which do make smile. I also take solace in the fact that he died a Christian and I will surely see him again.

 

If you could leave an encouraging message for someone that has just recently lost a loved one, what would that be?

It’s hard losing a loved one, it hurts, but it gets better. Time is a beautiful healer, hold on to the beautiful memories, it helps on bad days as these memories will make you smile rather than cry. Yes, bad days will come but you can pen down your feelings, hold a journal, write down how much you miss them. Cry if you need to, it helps.

Don’t ever forget the fellowship of the Holy spirit, he is your biggest comforter.